So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
