i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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