So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
