dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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