You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
