Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cut my penus on the lid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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