Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
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