We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
