Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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