In the future we'll all be gay
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
