I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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