4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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