It's Friday. Sex?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize