it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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