I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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