let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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