Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
