p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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