WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Enjoy the penises
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize