Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
