What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How external is "for external use only"?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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