I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
