she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
