I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
