What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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