I think my vagina is haunted
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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