you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
