he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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