I just cut my nipple shaving
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
