Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
