woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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