So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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