What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Pooping to opera.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
