Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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