she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
