Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
