It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Randomize
