Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
