i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
