i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
