we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
look no pants
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
