I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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