I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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