I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
