this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize