You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
