Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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