He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
