found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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