Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
