you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
