I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
