I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
