THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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