She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
