3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
