addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
