Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
