using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize