it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
