I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
