She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
