Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
