69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize