so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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