every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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