May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
