Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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