In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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