can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
