saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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