AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize