I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
