I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize